Hi there Monday! How are you feeling today? Rested? Heart full? Ready to get after it this week? I am on my 2nd cup of coffee, in a big ass mug, and I am ready to dominate like a girl boss this week. It’s crazy how fast the weekend goes and I am, slowly, drifting out of my funk. I repeat, slowly. It may require another cup of coffee. My mantra this week is “positive vibes only;” it has felt like a bit of a shit show recently. Yes, I need some positivity please!
Ever since I came home from Denver – and even a couple days prior to that point – I have been in a downright funk. That, coupled with feeling the negative energy from social media, and a “just let me be” attitude. Needless to say, it has me asking “am I ever going to be enough?”
I talked about this, briefly, on my personal Facebook page last week, and the comments that came with it were so unbelievably kind, genuine, and a great reminder that I need to keep pushing along, and leave the “haters” in the rear view mirror. Btw, I heard a lot of expressions/terms that are brand new. I may be using for content purposes in the future, so THANK YOU peeps! I followed this up with a candid discussion in my weekly email newsletter. FYI: I need to do a much better job of promoting it beyond the pop up when you come to my blog or via Facebook. Since my blog is in a bit of a makeover right now, and some things have not translated over from the former company I was using, it just goes against my wanting everything to look right and be right!
Am I having a control issue? On some level, possibly, but when you pay for something, you want the goods described to be delivered! Here’s hoping I will be back in business over the next few weeks!
Anyway, back to what I shared in my latest email newsletter. Ooh, I can tell it may be one of those days I have a hard time staying on point, or will be trying to juggle 10 different projects at once.
Seriously, back to what I have been trying to share for the last few sentences!
I made mention to some of the “trolls” I have recently encountered who have put me down for what I am showcasing on social media, called me “names” that are NOT me at all, and have made me feel less than adequate. Before you even say it, I know, I know. People who even have to say such things are coming from a place of jealousy, or dealing with their own shit, or just, downright, negative/miserable. As a former client told me “Janine, Janine, phuck them.” See, I may have to use the word “phuck” a whole lot more, ha!
I have reflected- a lot– on this over the past few days and, at times, it seems silly that I take some of this stuff so damn personally. I shouldn’t; social media is a tough world and I, 100%, know what I am facing every single day I put myself out there. Still, it has been a lot lately, (and I am a low woman on the influencer totem pole). Maybe there is something in the air; I have heard other influencers talk about this recently. Most of the vibes are being pointed towards the negativity of the upcoming election. It could be but that seems like such a cop out.
I am a people pleaser by nature, although, I know I will never please everyone. I want people to see me, for ME; not what is perceived based on what I am showcasing, or what I jokingly say in the realm of “not taking myself too seriously.” And the friend I was joking with last week who said “this is the reason you are not successful right now,” was, well, another punch in the gut.
Joking or not joking, you just do not say that to a woman who is, already, feeling defeated. WTF. I guess I could be more polite and reiterate – positivity please!
The feeling of defense mode has been real, and, guess what, that is a hardship in and of itself! It’s exhausting. I think I need to take a page from Hon. Amy Coney Barrett. I don’t know about you, but I enjoyed watching/listening to the confirmation hearings that recently took place. I watched this brilliant woman, with such poise, grace, and calmness, as she answered each of the questions that were asked. She defended her stance and beliefs in a way that showed unbelievable confidence, yet never wavered from her polite mannerisms. It was a good reminder that you can exude a presence and confidence about yourself without coming off cocky, rude, or just “I don’t give a F.”
Bottom Line: I am enough for me! I know what I want, and I will continue to go after it every single day. And, if that means showcasing what I am up to when I travel, or the fancy new outfit that I just purchased, or the latest champagne I am trying, so be it. My business, my lifestyle, and a commitment to myself to let some of this stuff go. If you want to be negative, that is your prerogative, but go be a troll somewhere else. Positive vibes only; adulting is hard enough (and we have been through a LOT in 2020, right)?
I repeat, positivity only! It is the “19th” after all; we shall see what luck comes my way today, and not thinking about how I will be another year older in 2 months. UGH!
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